Navigating Parenting: Online Influences

Cassidy Van Slyke Blenke explores the effects of conflicting messages on the ways parents raise their children.

I am beginning to learn to navigate the life of parenting my children as they begin their early childhood education journey with the surrounding pressures and expectations that can seem daunting, especially when bombarded with conflicting messaging and notifications from almost every form of medium. All of these messages begin to influence me to start questioning my current parenting choices, goals for parenthood, and how I might even begin to ensure that my children grow into happy, helpful, and loving human beings amidst all the chaos, pressures, noise and “helpful suggestions” that our current world throws at us their parents, and them as children.

During my formative years as an elementary school student and teen applying to college, it was up to me to make things happen. Sure, I was lucky to have parents who were there, but they didn’t lean over my shoulder suggesting which test to prep for or tell me what I had to become. This allowed me to develop my own sense of self later in life, creating my own drive because I realized early on that if I wanted to get things done, I needed to make it happen.

Bringing it back to basics, when I needed something, I would turn to the library to utilize its free resources. I found that I could find answers when turning to intelligent thought leaders and mentors who seemed willing to assist me with my pursuits. Ironically enough, this was how I found the freedom to stumble upon my Catholic faith many years later.

As I continue to explore the journey of parenting in our current world, I’ve noticed that in today’s current landscape of college admissions, a trend in which parents and possibly kids themselves attempt to find their “brand” so that they stand out among other applicants. This reminds me of when brands and businesses would hire me to identify the company's key differentiators through research analysis and figure out a strategic way to market these traits to the masses. I’m not in the deep end yet because my children are still young, but I can feel the pressure already building as I witness social media group postings about essay specialists for hire, college brand coaches, and workshops that will help your child stand out.

null

See how easy it is to get pulled into all the noise of what we "should" be doing? It happens to me every day. And that’s when I remind myself that I need to immediately pull back and pause, meditate, and pray on my true core values as a faithful person, woman, daughter, and mother because it is a lot, all of the time. Yet we have a choice. We have the vital option to turn to God and shut down the wavering uncertainty deafening our ears and allow our love, through God’s love, to enable our children to succeed.

It can be as simple as coming together to light a candle in church when things get tough at school or allowing them to feel that they truly matter through stewardship and giving back. All of these things are so freely given and available, just like the librarians I instinctively sought out as a child when I needed assistance and advice. Yes, there are easy, flashy solutions out there, but I find we might be forgetting the heart of it all.

Like newborn infants, long for pure spiritual milk so that through it you may grow into salvation, for you have tasted that the Lord is good. (1 Peter 2:2-3)

null

Click to tweet:
See how easy it is to get pulled into all the noise of what we "should" be doing? #CatholicMom

My ultimate bottom line is to walk through life experiencing love, patience, understanding, hope, and courage for all, just as Jesus did. Because at the end of the day, whether you are a children’s librarian, CEO, custodian, financial analyst, or writer, we are all human and come to the same ending. And how beautiful is it that we can choose to guide our children by simply modeling love and compassion, just as our Savior did?

I know that for today, I am making the choice of bringing all of us together, tampering down those expectations that come from the outside, and making the choice to show my children how to become loving humans by simply loving them unconditionally. It’s all too easy to get lost in the flurry of outside influences and sometimes self-imposed expectations and pressures when, really, the simplest solutions lay right before us.

null