For Her, I Died

Ellen Mongan contemplates on the faith of her mother and grandmother, remembering how our prayers for our elders and our children are answered.

“You are not taught the faith; you catch it.” I caught my Catholic faith from my grandma, Amata Morono. Even though she did not speak a word of English, her life spoke the language of God’s love. Maybe it was the rosary she carried everywhere that gave away the fact that Jesus was her life. She knew, loved, and depended on Him for everything. When Grandma died, I saw a young Amata wearing a coat of many colors in a dream. I heard these words, “Because she was my favorite.” Those simple words resonated in my soul, bringing me a sweet memory of my grandma.

As a toddler, my mom, Eleanor, was near death with pneumonia. Grandma knew just what to do: she prayed. She made a promise to God that if her daughter would live, she would fast from meat every Wednesday and every Friday. She kept that promise all her life.

She was a Rosary-praying grandma. One day, while praying the rosary in her favorite chair, she saw a vision of a cross in the window. She instinctively knew something was wrong. The Holy Spirit prompted her to go to her son, Nicky. Grandma did not drive, nor did she know where Nicky lived, but out the door she went. Nothing stops a mother from going to their child. She discovered that her son had died.

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In contrast, my mom, Eleanor, was a churchgoer. She never missed a Saturday-night Mass. Even in her 90s she would drive herself to church. What was her motivation? All of her friends would be there to chat with. They all went to the same Mass and sat in the same pew for decades. Mom was not informed about the "silence in the church" rule until she met the "Shhh lady," who encouraged everyone to be quiet in church. Mom's favorite part of the Mass was the homily, unless they talked about the Bible. “The priest should share stories that apply to daily life, not words no one understands,” Mom would say.

She came to live with us when she was 95. She often asked us, “Why am I still here?” Answering her own question, she would reply, “My sister Marion told me, God does not want me.” We assured Mom of God’s love, then added, “When Jesus calls your name, go with Jesus.”

My mother had been a no-show in church for a few years. To stir her faith, Deacon Pat and I invited her to join us for our morning prayer time. She never missed a day unless she was not feeling well. You could always tell when she was becoming bored. She would say “I have to go to the bathroom.” This added extra time to our prayer hour.

Pat and I accompanied Mom as she carried her cross of bladder cancer. We lived the Scripture about carrying the man through the roof when he could not get to Jesus by himself. My husband, Deacon Pat, was my hero, taking extra care in instructing Mom in the faith. Mom’s favorite part of our prayer time was when we would all join hands and say the Lord’s prayer, the Hail Mary, and the Glory Be.

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I prayed for my mom all my life. As she aged and was well into her 90s, I was concerned about her soul. One night God spoke to me in a dream. Jesus was standing over mom with a cross. I like to think that it was the crucifix on grandma’s rosary beads. Then Jesus spoke these words, “For her, I died.” Then again, “For her, I died.” Then, a third time, “For her, I died.” Those words became a comfort to me as we gave Mom back to her Heavenly Father.

As the baptized, we must never give up hope for anyone’s salvation. We must persevere in prayer like St. Monica and lovingly share the Gospel message whenever we have that opportunity. My Grandmother Amata fasted and prayed for my mom. God answered the prayers of a mother’s heart. My mom’s faith, though weak, gave her the grace to die peacefully. She was surrounded by family and friends who prayed her through the valley of the shadow of death until she took her last breath on Feb 8, 2024.

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As the baptized, we must never give up hope for anyone’s salvation. #CatholicMom

Some of you ladies may have praying moms who passed down the faith; others may have moms who do not believe at all; and others may have churchgoer moms, like my mom. Be assured your prayers for them are heard. I hope that we all are praying moms.

The Lord does not delay his promise, as some regard “delay,” but he is patient with you, not wishing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. (2 Peter 3:9)

Here is my interview with my mother: