God Doesn't Answer Whys

Kimberly Novak shares her insights and recommendations when faced with the biggest question involving the smallest word.   

My husband and I have gotten into the habit of watching faith-based movies on Saturday mornings as we sip coffee and gently allow the weekend to seep into our bones. The films are often sweet but don’t generally tug on my heartstrings that early in the morning. However, in a recent movie, I was surprised by one simple line, “God doesn’t answer whys.” I could feel God was trying to get my attention, and I eagerly listened as the movie continued.  

As parents, caregivers, babysitters, or teachers, we have all been asked the dreaded question, “Why this, and why that?” Even from the cutest of children, the question sends chills up my spine. The most popular responses are usually, “Because I said so” or “I don’t know,” and both make me chuckle. Looking back on my parenting life, I think most of the times the why questions came up were often busy or chaotic, and I hurried to answer in a way where the child would give up any follow-up questions.  Sometimes it worked, and other times, not so much.  

When I heard “God doesn’t answer whys” in the movie, I instantly pictured myself as a little girl begging to know why I couldn’t have or do something. Then, I reflected on myself as an adult, kneeling in prayer and doing the same thing, and I realized I was putting God in the same situation I had been in as a young parent.  

Does God Get Frustrated When We Ask Why?

Webster's Dictionary defines "why" as "looking for the reason or purpose" and "expressing mild surprise, hesitation, approval, disapproval, or impatience."  As a child, I didn’t know the heavy implications that annoying word could carry. I’m sure my children never received the answers they sought. How, then, can I expect God to answer my whys?  

The word "why" is not new for God, and many instances exist in the Bible. Job, Cain, and Joshua, to name a few, all sought God with that one-word question, longing for a response. In these situations, God answered them directly, reminding them that He was in control, or the one asking the question later realized that God had a bigger plan. 

If we look at the definition, there are better ways to get to the bottom of our request. Stating the purpose or reason we need or want whatever it is makes us sound more grown up and experienced on the topic.  Imagine your little one posing a question like, “Hello, Mommy, I would like to have an ice cream, but if you do not think it is an appropriate time, please explain yourself.”  Haha! Now, take something you have been asking God for, and instead of asking why, pose it like, “Hello, Heavenly Father, I know I have been impatient waiting for you to move this mountain. I am confident in my faith, and I promise never to stop praying and will wait for your timing.”  

How to Take this One-Word Question and Change It

Those scenarios are simple, but most of what we want or need goes deeper. That is where our trust in God and the child’s trust in the adult is involved. If we can shape our responses godly, the child will most likely be more apt to accept our response, just as we are confident in God’s will.  

So, what does that look like? We can practice it first when we go to God with our requests, embrace our child-like faith, and feel the eagerness and excitement at how God will respond. Then, we pass it on to our little ones, teaching them a better way to learn the reason or purpose for something.   

An effective, simple response to the question “Why?” might be as easy as the line in the movie, “God doesn’t answer whys, and neither does mommy.” Then, please take the opportunity to make the question a teaching moment and offer better ways for the child to seek their answers.

Three things to reflect upon as we have these teachable moments:   

• Trust God: The answer to "why" questions may be beyond our understanding, so we should trust God and His love. 

• Ask "what" instead: Asking "what" instead of "why" suggests humility and trusting God. 

• Remember God's plan for us: God's plan for us is greater than our own and involves serving others.  

God affected my heart that morning and delivered a movie line to make His impact. I hope my words and your prayers will bring insights and wisdom the next time you hear and ask that dreaded why question. I would love any readers who have implemented this to comment on their experience and share their findings about its effectiveness. God Bless! 

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Copyright 2025 Kimberly Novak
Images: Canva