In the Trenches: Finding God Through Parenting Littles

Karen Estep reviews a new parenting book by Kelsey Gillespy.

I feel like moms are always trying to figure out if we are “normal”. We love our children and can also be overwhelmed by them. We can crave their hugs and then need our own space to breathe. We can want a Pinterest lifestyle and also lack the energy to care too much what people see in our house. All of this is completely normal and all of these are topics discussed in Kesley Gillespy’s new book, In the Trenches: Finding God Through Parenting Littles, from Pauline Books and Media.

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When my daughter (now 7) was two and a half, she fell head over heels in love with the movie Moana. My son was about six months old and couldn't have cared less. We spent hours and hours watching that movie. But because I’m a mom, sitting and watching a two-hour-long movie was a luxury I did not always have. It wasn’t until after the first few times I had watched the movie that I got to see the ending (spoiler alert!). At the end of the movie, Moana realizes that Te Kā, the fiery lava monster, is really Te Fite, the beautiful earth goddess that brings new life. Te Fiti’s heart had been stolen and she turned into the lava monster. There is a beautiful song at the end of the movie, “Know Who You Are,” where Moana discovers Te Kā’s true identity, even when Te Kā has forgotten who she really is.

I remember watching the end and realizing that’s exactly how I felt as a mom. I was giving so much of myself to my kids, to my work, to my husband, and I had lost where my heart was, I did not remember who I was before my children or marriage, and I had become the fiery lava version of myself. I remember being on the couch, watching this scene, and bawling my eyes out because I finally felt seen as a woman!

Gillespy does not hide the ups, downs, meltdowns, or tiredness that comes with being a parent. As a mom of five little ones herself, she has a lot of experience. I read the first ten chapters within the matter of an hour and had already laughed and cried at least that many times. It was almost like watching that scene in Moana again: I felt seen as a mom. I finally felt “normal.”

Gillespy has used the small experiences with her children to evangelize in such a way that we experience God through and from our parenting. By looking through the eyes of our children, we can learn how we look at God, our Father. Her reflections hit home with me as a mom, even though I only have two kiddos at home. It felt like Kelsey was just sharing her stories over a cup of coffee. In fact, I wish she and I were friends in real life. Between our seven kids combined, we could probably write another book!

Every story she tells includes a short quip about something that has happened in her life, how it ties into our faith, a small reflection section (she calls these reflections "Snack Time," and I just love this because both of my kids are major snackers), and a beautifully written prayer. I have shared Gillespy’s prayers over and over again. Those prayers alone make this book so worth the money and the time it will take to read, although altogether this book was a quick read. I am sure my friends were tired of me sending the picture texts of the prayers. Every prayer written reminded me of myself and where I am at in life— or a friend and where they are at in their life.

In the Trenches is probably the best parenting book I have ever read. I have literally marked every chapter with at least one sticky note and a reflection of my own. I have shared each of the prayers with at least three or four friends. I have recommended this book to friends, to my Bible study group, and to colleagues.

This book would make the perfect gift for a new mom, Mother’s Day, a friend who is a mom, or even a friend thinking about being a mom. As women, we all just want to be normal. We all just want to know that some days it’s OK to be the lava monster but when we find out who we are in our hearts, daughters of Christ, we can truly become beautiful moms too.

Ask for In the Trenches at your local Catholic bookseller, or order online from Amazon.com or the publisher, Pauline Books & Media.

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