Life as a Senior Mom

Pam Spano considers the many changes she faces as the mother of now-adult children.

During a visit to my surgical dentist, I was informed that I had high blood pressure which led me to look for a new doctor. My previous doctor had retired years ago. Not only was my blood pressure high, but my cholesterol was double the norm. Yikes! The doctor said that’s hereditary. Thanks, Mom and Dad!  

After a few tests and blood work, everything is under control and the doctor is pleased with my progress. So am I! Oh, did I mention I lost 3 pounds?  

All this led me to start thinking about the process of becoming a senior mom. Not a particularly fun train of thought, but a necessary and inevitable one.   

My children are all adults. My thinking was, typically, that I don’t want to be a burden to them as I age. I was in the “sandwich” generation, which means I was taking care of aging parents and small children all at once. It was brutal. I’m an only child so everything from paying the bills, taking care of two houses, daily care, and doctor appointments were mine. My husband helped me on weekends, but we were both exhausted and overwhelmed.  

Our Future as Seniors Can Be Positive

Long after the deaths of my parents, my husband was hired at a senior living center to provide music for Sunday Mass. We began to see a different view of what our future as seniors might look like. For the most part, it was a positive one.  

For example, some of these men and women are ten, twenty and almost thirty years older than ourselves! Some are in reasonably good health. They are physically mobile and fairly active. One religious sister is 100 years old and doesn’t use a cane or a walker!  

Other residents need some assistance in getting around and they do so with humor and a good attitude. Others not so much. They are a lesson in kindness and patience to the rest of us.   

Many residents are smart and articulate. One religious sister still works for the Thomas More Society (after she had a long career teaching) and has held us enthralled with her stories of court cases she has participated in.   

The one thing they all have in common is faith. It is a Catholic facility where faith is treasured and supported. I have heard many a faith-filled story of their families, friends and life experiences. The seniors attend daily Mass as well as Adoration, Confession, and Bible study. Faith is shared along with the aches and pains of growing older. 

Changes in My Role as a Wife and Mother 

With all that in mind, now as a senior mom, my role has changed in the lives of my children. I’m no longer a caretaker. Occasionally our roles are reversed. Though I’m still independent, my children are sometimes doing the very things for me that I used to do for them. As a mom it warms my heart to have them take the time to chauffeur me when I don’t want to drive, pick up something from the store that I forgot to get or come to my rescue when I’ve literally fallen on the ice and couldn’t get up.  

The bonus in our relationship now is being adults together. We’ve traveled together, enjoyed outings at various points of interest, dined out at amazing restaurants or just hung out in the back yard on a beautiful day to solve all of the world problems. Sometimes even a Costco run with them will make my day. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company.  

Our children have assured their father and me that there will be no nursing home in our future, but since there are no guarantees, taking care of my health is a top priority. 

Enjoying a New Chapter of Life 

For those of you moms who will soon enter this stage of motherhood, I can tell you that I’m enjoying this chapter of my life with my children. The hard work does pay off when your children grow up to be decent people.   

I wondered if there was a prayer for seniors and I found this and it made me smile:  

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my shape to keep. 
Please no wrinkles, please no bags, please lift my butt before it sags. 
Please no age spots, please no grey, and as for my belly, please take it away. 
Please keep me healthy, please keep me young, and thank you Lord, for all that you’ve done. (Author Unknown) 

AMEN! 

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Copyright 2024 Pam Spano
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