--- title: "Marriage Gifts: Right Judgment" description: Shelly Henley Kelly considers how married couples need to pray for, and use, the Holy Spirit's gift of right judgment. image: https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/20220615%20SHKelly%201.png --- [![catholic-mom-logo-v2](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/images/catholic-mom-logo-v2.svg "catholic-mom-logo-v2")](https://www.catholicmom.com/) [![facebook](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-facebook.svg)](http://www.facebook.com/CatholicMomCommunity) [![twitter](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-twitter.svg)](http://twitter.com/CatholicMomCom) [![instagram](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-instagram.svg)](http://instagram.com/catholicmomcommunity) [![youtube](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-youtube.svg)](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAuUqHCVPDzyMgSMaMZxxug?view_as=subscriber) [![search-icon](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/search-icon.svg)](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/marriage-gifts-right-judgment#) [MARRIAGE](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/tag/marriage) # Marriage Gifts: Right Judgment Jun 15, 2022 10:00:00 AM  |  by [Shelly Henley Kelly](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/author/shelly) ![featured image](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/20220615%20SHKelly%201.png) *Shelly Henley Kelly considers how married couples need to pray for, and use, the Holy Spirit's gift of right judgment.* --- Marriage isn’t always easy. Thank goodness for the gift of Right Judgment or Counsel. This special gift teaches us and informs our thoughts. It guides and directs our actions. It warns us when necessary and encourages our commitment to one another. > The Advocate, the holy Spirit that the Father will send in my name—he will teach you everything and remind you of all that [I] told you. (John 14:26)   This gift is especially valuable during the child-rearing years when we sometimes find ourselves feeling pulled apart in different directions, along different pathways. At one time my husband and I found ourselves constantly coming and going between work and the kids’ activities. Aside from the occasional family meal together, we saw each other in passing. Our marriage felt stagnant. These circumstances really irritated my husband, so we finally created an opportunity to talk about what was going on. He was keenly aware that we were nearing a certain anniversary milestone. Our marriage was approaching the same year when his parents' marriage failed, and our current disconnect worried him. I shared that I saw this as us moving through a challenging season of life, one that would eventually pass as the kids grew. After recognizing this, we intentionally sought ways to reconnect and reassure each other. In her book *[The Grace of Yes](https://www.avemariapress.com/products/the-grace-of-yes),* Catholic Mom founder Lisa Hendey wrote, > At times, we’re partners on a tandem bicycle, pedaling in unison. Of course at other times, the two of us squish into a dinghy and row against one another, going nowhere but in circles. If you’re married, you understand this.     ![null](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/20220615%20SHKelly%203.png?width=1080&name=20220615%20SHKelly%203.png)   > [Click to tweet: > As life changes around us, the Holy Spirit encourages us, through our thoughts and actions, to consciously reach out for each other on this journey. #catholicmom](https://ctt.ac/2q5e6)   The gift of Right Judgment or Counsel guides and directs us to acknowledge that just as there are different seasons in life, there are different seasons of marriage. As life changes around us, the Holy Spirit encourages us, through our thoughts and actions, to consciously reach out for each other on this journey. Have you noticed that your marriage ebbs and flows through various seasons? What season of your marriage are you in right now with your spouse? Seek the Counsel or Right Judgment of the Holy Spirit to guide and direct you through one season to the next. > The God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory through Christ will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you after you have suffered a little. (1 Peter 5:10)   ![null](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/20220615%20SHKelly%202.png?width=1080&name=20220615%20SHKelly%202.png)   --- Copyright 2022 Shelly Henley Kelly Images: Canva ### Share this article [![Share on Facebook](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/facebook-24x24.png)](http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fmarriage-gifts-right-judgment%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dfacebook) [![Share on Twitter](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/twitter-24x24.png)](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?original_referer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fmarriage-gifts-right-judgment%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fmarriage-gifts-right-judgment%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&source=tweetbutton&text=Marriage%20Gifts%3A%20Right%20Judgment) [![Share on Email](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/email-24x24.png)](mailto:?subject=Check%20out%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fmarriage-gifts-right-judgment%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Demail%20&body=Check%20out%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholicmom.com%2Farticles%2Fmarriage-gifts-right-judgment%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Demail) ** #### About the Author ![Shelly Henley Kelly](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/Shelly%20Kelly.jpg) ### [Shelly Henley Kelly](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/author/shelly) Shelly Henley Kelly is a wife, mother of three, and native Texan who writes and records a podcast with her sister on [Of Sound Mind and Spirit](http://www.soundmindandspirit.com/). When not writing or recording, Shelly can be found keeping the scorebook at her son’s baseball games, diving deep into historical research, or hiding with a good book in between games. [**](https://www.facebook.com/SoundMindandSpirit/) [**](https://www.twitter.com/shellyhkelly) ## Related Blog Articles [ Marriage Gifts: Wisdom Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/marriage-gifts-wisdom) [ Marriage Gifts: Understanding Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/marriage-gifts-understanding) [ Marriage Gifts: Knowledge Read ](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/marriage-gifts-knowledge) ## Comments ## Donate now [![Support Catholic Mom](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/275132/10016573-1c5c-4aa5-baba-c2ac91fe7545.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/275132/10016573-1c5c-4aa5-baba-c2ac91fe7545) [![CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c (002)](https://www.catholicmom.com/hs-fs/hubfs/CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c%20(002).png?width=1806&height=731&name=CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c%20(002).png "CatholicMom_hcfm_logo1_pos_871c_2728c (002)")](https://www.catholicmom.com/) ##### Subscribe to Catholic Momcast on iTunes or Spotify [![itunes-logo-black](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/logos/itunes-logo-black.svg)](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/catholic-momcast/id1362352357)[![spotify-logo-black](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/logos/spotify-logo-black.svg)](https://open.spotify.com/show/15CoipHL7z61IDcYErV0b8?si=hqaQJSxDQgq7S1hxCwsoxQ) ##### CatholicMom on Social Networks [![facebook](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-facebook.svg)](http://www.facebook.com/CatholicMomCommunity) [![twitter](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-twitter.svg)](http://twitter.com/CatholicMomCom) [![instagram](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-instagram.svg)](http://instagram.com/catholicmomcommunity) [![youtube](https://www.catholicmom.com/hubfs/_catholicmom/icons/social-icon-youtube.svg)](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAuUqHCVPDzyMgSMaMZxxug?view_as=subscriber) ##### About Catholic Mom [Who We Are](https://www.catholicmom.com/about-us) [Contact Us](https://www.catholicmom.com/contact) [Support CatholicMom.com](https://www.catholicmom.com/support-us)   ##### Associated Links [Holy Cross Family Ministries](https://www.hcfm.org/) [Family Rosary](https://www.familyrosary.org/) [Family Theater Productions](https://www.familytheater.org/) [Congregation of the Holy Cross](https://www.holycrossusa.org/) [Father Patrick Peyton, C.S.C.](https://www.fatherpeyton.org/) [The Peyton Institute for Domestic Church Life](https://www.peytonfamilyinstitute.org/) ### **Stay connected!** Don’t miss a thing! 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