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Noting that her young children observe and imitate her and her mood, Deborah Xavier-Mis considers the example she wants to set as a parent.

During the pandemic I have had time to reflect about myself and I came to realize a few things that I have never understood before.

I was able to recognize that most of my personality was shaped during my childhood, by the way I saw my mom reacting to daily situations. After becoming a mom of two girls, I have seen motherhood with an entire new perspective, and I feel both empowered and inspired by it.

My desire to see my girls succeed motivate me to do well and to keep moving forward, even in times of uncertainty. My oldest daughter was 2 years old when I started noticing how she observed me and how my mood could set up the pace of her day. It was amazing to see how she copied my expressions and my tone of voice while playing with her toys or talking with us.

I realized how my attitude towards life can shape theirs, even at this early stage of their lives. I understood that the faith inheritance that I want to leave for them starts being shaped now. If I want to see a beautiful reflection of me on my kids, I need to start being a better version of myself today. It is not about being a perfectly beautiful picture but rather showing them that there are moments of success and joy, as well as moments of frustration and unhappiness. Being able to recognize these feelings and to express them is what counts. I do not need to hide bad days or problems from my kids, no matter how old they are. The way that I respond to these challenges is what matters the most.

One of the lessons for my kids that my husband and I reinforce constantly is the importance of prayer. We pray before meals and at bedtime with our kids, thanking God for our family and all the love He pours on our lives daily.

One day, coming home after work, the car in front of me hit the 3 cars in front of it and it was a huge car accident. Thank God nobody got badly injured, but it was loud and scary to witness. When I got home, I was still shaking, and I was probably pale because when I opened the door my husband immediately asked, “What happened?”

My oldest daughter was a little over 3 years old at the time, and I knew I had to give an answer that she would understand. So I said, “Today the angels have protected Mama from a car accident. A car accident happened right in front of me. Four cars were involved.”

I knew by her look that she was processing the information. Then she asked, “Why didn't the angels protect the people in the other cars?”

Ouch! I went on to explain her that the angels protected everyone. The cars were smashed, but the people were not hurt because the angels protected them.


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I try to be mindful of my actions and my words so that if I am a mirror for my kids, what I have reflected on them is faith, strength, and love for my family. #catholicmom

This situation made me realize how as an adult I still face situations where I am looking for a reason of why this or that happens. It made me think of all the times I had stumbled in my faith. Doubting instead of believing. I also realize that these moments of doubting have happened less and less, the more I grow in faith and the closer I become to Jesus.

As I move forward striving to be the best mother that I can be, I try to be mindful of my actions and my words so that if I am a mirror for my kids, what I have reflected on them is faith, strength, and love for my family.


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Copyright 2021 Deborah Xavier-Mis
Image: Canva Pro