Not Again, Lord!

Elizabeth Estrada reflects on her response to overwhelming financial burdens, finding hope in recalling her own mom’s example. 

October and November have been very difficult — so difficult that I was dragging. Work has its challenges, but when life at home is also difficult, there seems to be no relief anywhere. 

I drive a 2002 Honda that is paid off but has reached almost 400,000 miles. About five years ago I replaced the motor. The car is paid off, so I try very hard to take care of it. 

Well, in October I found out that the transmission needed to be replaced — and the day I pick it up smoke comes out of the hood! Yes, smoke! 

Thankfully I made it to an auto shop, but two days later I found out it needed a radiator too. 

Now What, Lord? 

I was trying to count my blessings and every day I reminded myself that others have it worse. But after this, I was very overwhelmed and was trying to figure out what the Lord was trying to teach me. 

Being overwhelmed was one thing, but the financial strain was another. I am a single mom and try my best to keep a budget and save money. It seems that things are starting to even out, when boom! There’s a financial strain again. 

So, as I keep going to Mass, Adoration, and all the things I had a thought. Maybe the Lord is trying to put my financial needs in perspective. Perhaps I am not putting all my trust in God but instead on myself. I am trying to rely on myself and becoming anxious in the process. Is it that I focus too much on the money and not enough on talking to God about it? I need to trust that the Holy Spirit will lead me to wisdom. 

I even started thinking of getting a remote part-time job just to make sure I was being financially responsible. 

Thankfully I still have a place to live and things to eat, but it’s hard checking my bank account every few days just to make sure some money is still there.  

Taking a Breath and Recalling My Mom’s Witness 

I will say that this experience makes me think of my mom. She raised us on her own, working two jobs, and we made it. We didn’t have all the things, and we didn’t have our own bathrooms until we moved out, but we were OK. 

Even in my mom’s struggles, she managed to keep practicing her faith and taking us to Mass, always thanking the Lord for her blessings. 

Perhaps that is what I need to think about and thank God for: all the things He provides every day. 

I’m not so overwhelmed anymore. Thank you, Jesus! 

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Copyright 2025 Elizabeth Estrada
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