Parenthood IS the Retreat

Megan Cottam embraces God’s little invitations hidden in the everyday life of parenting.

“Honey, I can’t find the hamster.”

My husband shot me a glare that implied my incompetence, then proceeded to poke and prod the cage, certain that he was going to find Stripe, the beloved pet, within seconds. Seconds became minutes, and prodding yielded to a desperate combing through the cage in search of at least a body.

Then, we found it: the bent metal in the back corner of the cage signaling a Houdini-style escape.

We glanced at each other with a combined panic. The kids were asleep, and this creature needed to be safe in his cage come dawn. The nighttime search-and-rescue mission, complete with washing-machine lifts and split-second blanket reflexes, rivaled any teambuilding or trust exercise offered on a marriage retreat, I assure you. No fancy date night occurred, but the laughter at the state of the torn-over house caused by one 3-inch rodent was certainly a bonding occasion for our relationship.

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“My tummy hurts!”

Mothers know that this statement has two outcomes. The first is a miraculous recovery when more appealing food is presented. The second means rapidly changing plans for the family. A red light on the thermometer and malaise across the eyes of my 4-year-old suggested the latter.

Important meeting at work? Canceled. Normal school routine? School spirit day missed. Family outing? Nada. Clean house? No longer on the radar. This particular episode turned into eight days of high fevers, isolation, and canceled plans.

The pivoting that occurs in parenting can be an invitation to surrender. Teammates covered me at meetings. Teachers sent home activities. Friends were understanding and rescheduled time together. Cuddling on the couch with a sick child was a wonderful opportunity to connect, share, and abide with one another. All of those scheduled items which typically produce anxiety had to be released. God has a way of showing us our own misaligned priorities in the midst of illness.

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“Mom, how did God create primary colors?”

Recently, dinner conversation has become an explosion of curiosity and rapid-fire God questions. Can we baptize aliens? How is God not born? Where in the Bible is __? There is no speaker series to answer these questions, and we do the best we can in the given moment. However, in order to give guidance and answer these questions, we as parents have to pull from our own formed foundation.

We, too, must reflect on some of these wonderful mysteries of the universe, and gain some comprehension as to the “why” of our Catholic ways. In parenting, we gain an additional motivation for diving deeper in our faith.

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God gives us families to unravel the mystery of the divine, day by day, one grace and challenge at a time. #CatholicMom

In each of these scenarios, my family has helped cut through the red tape that adulthood creates and get right to the heart of Jesus. When I find myself missing my young-adult days of retreats, long talks with mentors, and an array of devotional experiences, I must remember that God is reaching me in a new way. While I cherish those memories and still seek ways to restore my spirit, I am also learning to embrace these experiences as holy moments.

Parenthood necessitates trust, surrender, and reflection in a way that those previous experiences did not. God gives us families to unravel the mystery of the divine, day by day, one grace and challenge at a time. Even when we sometimes fail to make intentional time for the rest we need, God makes a way. Thanks be to God!

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