Praying in the Hard Times

Deanna Bartalini gives some tips on how to keep praying when it seems like you have no time at all.  

A few weeks ago, I led a weekend retreat for about 50 women at our local retreat center, Our Lady of Florida. This was a tremendous gift, as I am coming out of a season of many sacrifices. In fact, in recent months, I have received many gifts and my heart overflows with gratitude to God who knows me so well. These gifts have come as opportunities to serve others through spiritual direction, retreats, and writing.  

While in a time of difficult work and life events, it can be easy to think we are forgotten by God. I spent many sleepless nights, Rosary in hand, crying out to Him. No matter what other prayers I said, I ended every middle of the night prayer time the same, “O Jesus, I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything,” from the Surrender Novena. I prayed it on each Hail Mary bead, and on the Our Father beds I prayed a Memorare. I almost always fell asleep while praying those words of trust and surrender to Our Lord and His Mother. 

Shift your focus 

And while those prayers could soothe me at night, the days were different. I needed to be present and take care of what was in front of me. My plans were simple each day: Get through it. I stopped believing that I would ever do anything else. Work, in the form of being a spiritual director, is what helped the most. Those hours where I sat and listened, present to the person in front of me and the movement of the Holy Spirit, took me from barely hanging on to knowing God had a plan.  

I began (again) to practice being grateful. To move from what was not happening, what I didn’t like to what was good in my life. And there were many good things. It is so easy to see the difficulties and allow those to shape our mindset. When negative thoughts came up as I was dealing with problems, I kept repeating that I surrender prayer and kept trusting in Jesus and in my ability to move forward with His help.  

I was not always successful in being grateful, trusting, and surrendering. I was not my best self more than once. But I know that my best self would rarely have shown up if I were not trying to shift my focus and be grateful. 

Putting this into practice 

When you are going through difficult times, our prayer life may be less than stellar. That’s okay. Do what you can when you can. If you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night, (sorry that’s happening, it’s hard) use that time to pray rather than ruminate. During the day, small pauses can be when you turn to God: while the water boils for tea or the coffee brews; while you gather the laundry; when the children are in the car, pause and look up before you get in; in the shower; while you cook.

Yes, we all want prayer time — that lovely time of sitting in your chair, reading our Bible, making notes, and journaling our prayers and thoughts with God. Do not allow the desire for the “right time” to take over. Pray as you are able. 

You can find a short prayer or aspiration, “Jesus, I trust in You,” “I surrender all to you, Jesus,” or “Lord has mercy on me,” to repeat when needed as your day unfolds.  

A Scripture verse also helps. Choose your favorite, write it on some post-it notes, and post them on your bathroom mirror, inside your car, in the kitchen, or wherever is helpful for you. 

The practice of being grateful is a good one to teach others. At one meal each day, ask your family what they are grateful for today. It is a small thing, but over time it can help shift their focus as well. 

What helps you? 

I know that I’m not the only one who needs help with praying and gratitude when life is going faster than I can keep up with it. Let us know what helps you in the comment section. We can learn from each other. 

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Copyright 2024 Deanna Bartalini
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