Saint Mary Magdalene: Remaining at the Foot of the Cross

Allison Brown ponders what she has learned from the saint who taught by example the importance of showing up.

Reflecting over the years, I can now see what was missing.  

As a cradle Catholic, I assumed and took for granted that God was always somewhere in the background, even when I shamefully rejected Him.  

As I rediscovered my faith after my first child was born, I returned to the Church eager to grow deeper in faith. 

Though my faith grew, and I trusted God with my own life and the lives of my babies, through each difficult pregnancy, there was still something fundamentally missing.  

Fear and the Crucifix 

What was missing was buried deep within a fear that led to shame that I could not confront. I could not directly stand in front of a crucifix. I could barely look at one.  

And while I struggled endlessly with anxiety and depression, often consumed by a relentless darkness, the "answer" was always there. However, I was oblivious to it.    

My birthday came and went each year, coinciding with a feast day I did not notice because it wasn't a saint's feast I had "wanted."    

Through His love and mercy for me, Jesus beckoned me to the place I needed to be, to the foot of the Cross, to receive His healing graces.  

One Saturday morning at Church, through the innocent questions of my young daughter, I found myself standing with her at the foot of a crucifix.  

He had brought me to that very spot, and in those precious moments with my daughter, Jesus had healed a deep-seated fear I had carried with me for the majority of my life.    

Over the next couple of years, as I embarked on a journey of healing, I found myself at the foot of the Cross many times. My desire to always be at Jesus's feet has grown significantly as He continues to mend my heart. Through prayer, I find He is drawing me closer into His own heart, where I find much peace and rest.  

The Importance of Showing Up  

Saint Mary Magdalene continues to remind me to turn up. To bring all I have and place it at His feet—my tears, my fears, my anxieties, and my own suffering—to bring it all and surrender it to Him. There, I have found much healing as He continues to tear down the walls around my heart that have, in the past, prevented deep wounds from being healed.  

Mary Magdalene knew the importance of showing up.  

She understood that she had to show up to seek a deeper relationship with Jesus.  

Most importantly, she showed up and stayed waiting, committed and dedicated, with love for Jesus Christ.  

It is no coincidence that I was born on the feast day of a saint who would eventually teach me the significance of turning up to sit at Jesus's feet or kiss His precious feet on the crucifix. To learn the importance of sitting in silence and to patiently wait. I am loving Him in that silence and stillness, knowing and trusting that He is there beside me.  

Turning up each day, embracing the crucifix, and remaining at His feet have healed places in my heart that I didn't even know needed healing.  

More importantly, my relationship with Jesus has grown and deepened in intimacy. Those dark clouds and anxious feelings have slowly, over time, lessoned and have been replaced with His precious love for me.   

The crucifix, which I feared so much, now brings me the peace I desperately needed and was searching for.    

I now see Mary Magdalene as an example of someone who was healed through the love and mercy she received from Jesus Christ, who continued to serve and love Him, and who kept searching and waiting for Jesus even when everyone else went home.  

And finally, when she found Him, He called her by her name!  

Something that I, too, long for.    

As the months go by, I look forward to the 22nd of July. Not just because it is my birthday but to acknowledge and give praise and thanksgiving to this beautiful saint that God has gifted us, to remind us all that only "one thing is necessary."    

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Copyright 2024 Allison Brown
Images: Canva