Supporting Single Parents

Janelle Peregoy offers ideas individuals, groups, and parishes can use to help single parents feel at home in the Church and the community.

After a particularly exhausting day with the kids, my husband and I slumped down on the couch together. Suddenly, his eyes were imploring mine as he asked a simple question. 

“How did she do it?!” 

The she in question here is my mom. She raised my brother and me as a single parent. 

Admittedly, I think the sacrifices of most parents are nothing short of Herculean: parents of children with special needs, foster parents, and military parents, to name a few. Recognizing all these realities does not diminish the accomplishments of my own mom who simultaneously broke glass ceilings in the tech industry while raising two (mostly) capable and kind human beings into adulthood. 

I knew my mom worked hard while we were growing up, but I didn’t fully appreciate how hard before becoming a parent myself. 

Although I cannot pretend to fully understand her sacrifices, or the sacrifices of any single parent, I work with many single parents in my ministry to divorced families. Here are some observations about how our parishes and our broader Catholic communities can be more inclusive and welcoming to single parent families. 

Visibility 

“Where are they?!”  

An exasperated mom in a recent divorce support group was asking about other single parents. She felt like she was surrounded by “intact” Catholic families despite knowing that her story is not unique. 

Simply said, single parents need to feel less isolated in their parish communities. It may be as simple as introducing them to other single-parent families. Offering prayers of the faithful for single parents and their children is another way to show solidarity. 

Parishes also need to be aware of their marketing. Do all the family event flyers contain pictures of a mom, dad, and children? If so, consider diversifying the images used in bulletins and other communications. 

Provide Childcare and Other Tangible Assistance 

Each member of the parish staff should ask themselves how they might be more accommodating to single parents. Please refrain from making assumptions about why a parent might be single. Divorce is certainly a factor. There are also many parents who have never been married. Younger widows and widowers also need special consideration. There may also be military families struggling through long-term deployments, where a parent is not technically single but still functions that way day-to-day. 

Support for single parents should involve childcare. A lack of reliable childcare is one of the main barriers to participation in parish activities for all parents, but for single parents most explicitly. Even if the parish does not have the qualified staff to provide childcare for a specific activity, ensure that parents know that they are free to bring their children with them. 

Single parents are often concerned about tangible resources — specifically money and time.  

Consider providing free workshops that may be interesting to single parents such as explanations of the annulment process or strategies for financial planning. Be prepared to offer scholarships for parish events whose cost may inhibit a family’s participation. For families that are significantly struggling, connect them to Catholic Charities or other organizations providing food or housing assistance. 

Be considerate of each family’s schedule. Review any faith formation policies that require mandatory parent meetings. If possible, can these be fulfilled online? 

Single-parent Families Enrich our Catholic Community 

While I was growing up, we were fortunate to have a pastor who felt a particular kinship with our family because he had been raised by a single mom. He was the first priest to kindly clarify Catholic teaching about divorce. My mom never remarried. She was welcome to receive Eucharist. 

Father Jim never made us feel less than beloved members of the parish. He was a warm and stabilizing presence in the life of our family. I am not naïve. For many families, for a variety of reasons, that is simply not their pastoral experience. Each one of us can do better in emulating the presence of Christ in the lives of others.  

Single-parent families face many barriers to being active parishioners or to participating in Catholic education. They make the necessary sacrifices for the same reasons all families do: a strong sense of faith, connection to the sacraments and deep and abiding love of Jesus Christ.  

The Church is better for their witness. 

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Copyright 2025 Janelle Peregoy
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