The Blessing of Family Stress

When a challenging family experience bore beautiful fruit, Maria Riley learned a better way to think about her daily crosses. 

A Rough Day  

A few weeks ago, my 10-year-old daughter had a rough day. I mean a really rough day. She was overly exhausted and experienced a disappointment. On a regular day she probably would have cried for a few minutes and then gotten back to life. But not that day.  

Instead, she completely melted down and locked herself in the bathroom at dinner time. Oh, and did I mention my husband was working late that evening? As I tried to get dinner on the table and deal with my other three children, I didn’t have the energy or patience for this level of meltdown.  

Despite what I said or promised, I couldn’t get my daughter to unlock the bathroom door. I physically couldn’t reach her, and I was powerless to help her and defuse the situation.  

I started to melt down a little bit myself. I wondered, why did God allow my child to be so dysregulated when my husband wasn’t there to help me? Why couldn’t I just have “easy” children who never had outbursts like that? Why was motherhood so hard?  

A Small Miracle  

Then something truly amazing happened. One of my other daughters ran up the stairs. I honestly thought she was taking a break from the stressful situation, but in a minute she came bounding back with my 10-year-old’s favorite stuffed animal. My older daughter used a cute voice and spoke to her sister as the stuffed animal.  

The screaming stopped. The stuffed animal spoke again in a gentle and silly voice. We heard a small reply from behind the bathroom door. In a matter of minutes, my ten-year-old was at the table, holding her stuffed animal, and ready to eat dinner.  

Later that evening, once the exhausted 10-year-old was sound asleep, I snuggled and praised my older daughter. I told her how impressed I was with how she handled the stressful situation. I recognized the qualities that would help her become an amazing mom one day. I talked about how she might have a future in a profession supporting people going through crises. I saw the Lord developing virtue in my daughter.  

The Blessing of Our Struggles  

Sometimes we moms yearn for a simpler and easier life. We see each struggle and tantrum as an obstacle to our vocation. But my older daughter showed me something invaluable that day. If we hadn’t dealt with that stress, she would have missed the opportunity to grow. She wouldn’t have recognized this special talent God has given her.  

Who am I to ask for my struggles to be taken away when they are exactly how God wants me and my family to grow and develop into the people we were created to be? I have no idea what the future holds for my older daughter, but I know that this experience will play a role in forming her. 

It’s easy to look at our challenging situations and see only the difficulties. The Lord told us that if we wish to follow Him, we must take up our crosses daily (cf. Luke 9:23). He doesn’t ask us to do this because He wants us to struggle, but because He knows that through these crosses we become the saints we were created to be.  

Next time you’re faced with an overwhelming situation, remember that the Lord wants to use it to strengthen you and your family. Never despair. Even when we can’t understand it, the Lord is working in and through our families. 

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Copyright 2025 Maria Riley
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