The Five Love Languages on St. Valentine’s Day

Caitrin Bennett offers a few suggestions for showing love to your spouse in each of the Five Love Languages.

Here on Catholic Mom, I’m a second-Tuesday blogger, and this month that means I get St. Valentine’s Day! My upcoming book and my personal blog are all about marriage, so I can see God’s humor in giving me this day to blog here. I want to take this great opportunity to talk about how we can best celebrate this day of love with our spouses.

Maybe you have heard of the Five Love Languages, which originate in a book by Gary Chapman. These love languages help us understand how we (and others) prefer to give and receive love. The five love languages are Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service, and Gifts. On 5LoveLanguages.com, you and your spouse can take a quick quiz to see which love languages you understand best.

My husband Chris and I have found that learning one another’s love languages and keeping those in mind have really strengthened our marriage. You see, I’m a Words of Affirmation person (I think a lot of writers are!), and he’s more of a Quality Time guy. Before we understood love languages, many of our attempts to express love for one another were somewhat lost in translation. For example, I would put time into writing him a detailed love letter, when he would’ve honestly preferred to just spend that time with me. This is why I highly recommend taking the quiz and talking about love languages with your spouse!

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Once you’ve done that, here are a few quick (and free/ cheap) ways to show your spouse love in his or her favorite love language.

Words of Affirmation

Write a list of the top 10 things you love about your spouse
Find a beautiful love poem to include in their valentine card—or write one yourself for bonus points!
Sit together and recall the first time you met, your first date, and other milestones. Tell your spouse what initially attracted you to or impressed you about him or her (and don’t forget to tell them how that continues today, too!)

Physical Touch

Go for a walk and hold hands
Cuddle on the couch for a movie night
Give him or her a backrub or foot massage

Quality Time

Get competitive and share some laughs as you play a game together, whether that’s a board game, card game, or video game. My husband and I like to challenge each other on the same Sporcle trivia game online.
For a calmer Quality Time date, do a jigsaw puzzle together
Brew some tea and sit together talking about bigger things than just the quick, daily conversations you usually have. What are your hopes and goals for this upcoming year? What big vacation or project could you start dreaming about together?

Acts of Service

Detail your spouse’s cars. Vacuum the inside, get the windows sparkling … scrub all up in the hubcaps with a toothbrush if you want to go above and beyond!
Organize some area of your house (garage, a closet) that your spouse uses frequently
Cook his or her favorite dinner and dessert

Gifts

Homemade or store bought, chocolate covered strawberries are always a winner!
Give your spouse a gift card or just a written IOU for a special experience. This might be a manicure/ spa treatment, or a day touring and tasting at a few local breweries.
See my December post describing how you can pray a novena to a special saint for your spouse, then give them some physical token to represent that saint who is praying for them.

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15 simple ways to show love to your spouse, based on the 5 Love Languages. #CatholicMom

Have a wonderful day loving and being loved by your spouse. And don’t forget to wish everyone a happy Saint Valentine’s Day to bring this commercial holiday back to its Catholic roots!