The Good News: He Loves a Sinner Like Me

Betty Vertin contemplates the Good News: we don't have to be perfect to be loved by God.

Writing has always been a healthy outlet for me. When I was in high school, a teacher in a creative writing class encouraged me to pursue creative writing as a college major. However, very low on self-esteem, I did not believe I was good enough to be a writer and did not pursue it.

Fast forward 12 years, my oldest of three sons was diagnosed with a fatal genetic disease, and I needed a way to cope. So I started sharing our story on social media and soon started a blog. That led to being asked to write a column for an online magazine devoted to rare diseases like my son's.

After a year with the online magazine, I felt called to look for a small amount of more writing work. The number of writing possibilities I found searching online was overwhelming, so I prayed. CatholicMom.com was the answer. But I must be honest; I was intimidated. I thought I needed to be a better Catholic to write for this site.

This past Easter Sunday, as the homily encouraged us to go and spread the Good News, I felt the Good News. Jesus died and was resurrected to save a sinner like me. I don’t have to be perfect to receive His love.

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I swear, sometimes. I spent a year or two of my childhood Saturdays in a prison visiting room with my mom and sisters, visiting my stepdad. So let me describe some of the language I absorbed as “colorful.” I try not to use that colorful language of my youth, but the words slip out more often than I like. I do it if I’m surprised or frustrated or on those not-so-rare incidents when I hit my 6-foot self’s head on the van after getting kids in. And as much as I like to say I handle very stressful situations better, I cannot. Recently, I picked up one of my non-ambulatory sons from school, and he was soaked in urine. I responded with tears and anger that escaped in the form of swear words.

I get mad and yell, even at God, sometimes. I want to say I handle being a mother to seven, three of whom with a deadly form of muscular dystrophy, with grace all the time. But I don't. I've been known to yell back when a teenager is yelling at me. I'm not very nice when I'm exhausted from a long night of caring for sick kids. And when my children suffer and I can't help them, I sometimes get mad at God.

We follow the Church’s teachings as a family, but it doesn’t mean they are easy or we are always successful. Some of the things we have been called to do are scary and don't fit with societal norms, especially the norms of living in a rare disease community. But we try our best.

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I'm not perfect. But I am the beloved daughter of a King. #CatholicMom

I'm not perfect. But I am the beloved daughter of a King. He loves me with all my imperfections. He knows me. He numbered all the hairs on my head. He knows the crosses He asked me to carry, my strengths and weaknesses, and He still died on the cross for me. That is love, as I have never known. A love like none of us will ever know apart from Him.

That's the news we are supposed to share, but it is also something I forget sometimes. This article is my reminder that His love is so big. And the best part is that I don't have to earn or deserve it; He gives it freely.

I don't take that for granted. I try my best to avoid sin, but I am human and find it impossible. So, I go to Confession, repent, and try again. I'm so thankful for a God who forgives and loves a sinner like me.

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