The Soil of the Soul

Margaret Rose Realy, Obl. OSB, ponders the soul's resemblance to the soil of a garden.

All soils nourish some form of life. There are many kinds of soils and different forms of plant life are specific to the soil’s condition; prairie grass will not grow among woodland ferns.

The essence of my spirituality, like the essence of a good garden, depends on a healthy soil, one in which seeds can easily take hold and grow. Fruitfulness depends on soil rich in nutrients, the food of life. For no matter how clear the light or gentle the rain, without good roots being properly fed, the seeded plant will eventually die.

I have found that there are many types of soil within me. There is the desert sand. When I, like many, wrestle with depression I often feel that I have entered into a desert wilderness and wander lost on the sands of “what do I do now.” I try to trust God and allow the shifting sands to teach me endurance and a new stability. The desert, though truly inhospitable, nevertheless sustains many organisms specific to that environment and with God’s help, my soul can endure its harsh reality.

Like dense compressed clay, the soil of my soul can be difficult to alter. Even though clay is one of the more mineral-rich soils, the problem is in freeing up what is useful. When I’m in a bad mood the goodness in me becomes inaccessible. This hardness of heart hinders my receptivity to the Word of God. When seeds specifically suited to clay soils land and germinate, their deep tap-root persistently and gently grows into the clay. Eventually the clay is loosened and the changes allow what is nourishing to be released. God always knows what seeds to send to release what I have bound up.

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It takes all the soils of my heart’s terrain to create a spiritual habitat favorable to receiving the Eucharist and all the varied seeds of grace God offers me. #catholicmom

I have at times felt that a piece of my soul has turned to stone, so hardened from earthly pressures that nothing can penetrate. But rock is purposeful, the stuff of mountains and ocean cliffs. By God’s hands the stone can be quarried if you will, repurposed into blocks upon which he will build. It has been written before, that amid all the coal, the pressure formed diamonds. The process of breaking down and conversion is as essential to nature as it is to the nature of my soul.

It takes all the soils of my heart’s terrain to create a spiritual habitat favorable to receiving the Eucharist and all the varied seeds of grace God offers me. I need to strive in my faith to bring about fruitfulness sweet enough for Our Lord, to have a heart composted with the debris of life, the black gold of living on earth.

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