The Wisdom of Sirach: Lessons in Friendship

Colleen Mallette delves into the Book of Sirach to share the wisdom of developing authentic friendships.

Where I live we have had an unusually warm fall which has been so pleasant. Then the other day the temperature suddenly dropped from low 70’s to upper 30’s overnight. It was a shock to our bodies for sure. I instantly wanted to stay indoors, light a candle, and snuggle up with a throw blanket, book, and cup of hot chocolate.

These feelings of being cooped up indoors again are not pleasant, I much prefer being out and busy with friends without having to worry about coats and boots. As it did during the lockdown of 2020, this cold time of year leaves me feeling more alone and less interactive and I don’t look forward to it.

Winter weather and the pandemic have both been causes of loneliness and depression in our country. Combine that with the superficiality and hurtfulness of social media’s effect on people (teenagers especially), true friendships are really important. It isn’t enough emotionally to just have lots of “friends” liking us on our media sites. We need authentic friends who like us for who we are and support us in all circumstances because we can trust them.

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Recently Fr. Mike Schmitz has been taking his listeners through the book of Sirach on his Bible in a Year podcast. What an amazing book this is! There is so much wisdom in this book, yet average readers can grasp the content themselves. It is only found in the Catholic Bibles as a canonical book and that is so unfortunate. It is probably why many have never read it on their own, but I would highly encourage you to.

The book is basically a love letter from a father to a son written in a poetic yet straightforward way. It is 51 chapters of advice and admonitions on how to live a godly life. The moral teachings apply to all walks of life and on a variety of topics such as proper worship, relationships, daily conduct and the importance of seeking wisdom. They are written similarly to the prose of the Proverbs, but are broken down into logical sections that flow and are easier to follow.

The Book of Sirach tells how God wants us to make good friends and hang on to them for our own happiness and peace. #catholicmom

The wisdom given by Sirach on how to develop authentic friendships is so helpful. Many people today could benefit from reading this sage advice in order to obtain true friends in their lives. Friendship is an important topic that is covered many times throughout the book and here are some highlights:

From Chapter 6, on True Friendship:

Pleasant speech multiplies friends. (Sirach 6:5a)

Let those who are friendly to you be many, but one in a thousand your confidant. (Sirach 6:6)

When you gain friends, gain them through testing. (Sirach 6:7a)

Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter; whoever finds one finds a treasure. (Sirach 6:14)

From Chapter 9, on Choice of Friends

Do not abandon old friends; new ones cannot equal them. (Sirach 9:10a)

With the learned exchange ideas. (Sirach 9:15a)

Take the righteous for your table companions. (Sirach 9:16a)

On Care in Choosing Friends

Not everyone should be brought into your house, for many are the snares of the crafty. (Sirach 11:29)

So it is with the companion of the proud, who is involved in their sins. (Sirach 12:14)

Limit the time you spend among the stupid, but frequent the company of the thoughtful. (Sirach 27:12)

Every friend declares friendship, but there are friends who are friends in name only. (Sirach 37:1)

A harmful friend will look to your table, but in time of trouble he stands aloof. A good friend will fight with you against the foe, and against your enemies he will hold up your shield. (Sirach 37:4-5)

Seek no advice from your father-in-law, and from one who is envious of you, keep your intentions hidden. (Sirach 37:10)

Associate with a religious person, who you know keeps the commandments; who is like-minded with yourself and will grieve for you if you fall. (Sirach 37:12)

These are just a few of the many tidbits of wise advice on how God wants us to make good friends and hang on to them for our own happiness and peace—especially old friends who know us so well and have stood the test of time in real support through many circumstances. Also, remember the importance of surrounding ourselves with godly, humble, loving friends, for they will steer us down God’s path.

Take the time to read through the Book of Sirach for these and many other inspired words of wisdom from God on living a good life.

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