What I’m Learning About Work/Life Integration as a Mom of Two

Taryn DeLong shares four boundaries she’s setting as her life grows busier.

In some ways, having my second child was so much easier than having my first. There was no identity shift (read: identity crisis). I wasn’t getting used to not having a full-time job. Nursing has been a dream (a good one!). I had an older child to take care of, which was hard but also helped get me out of bed, dressed, and out of my head each day. Perhaps most importantly, we were not in a global pandemic, and I had stay-at-home mom friends. 

Overstimulated and Overexerted 

Still, while my mental health, especially for those first six postpartum months, has been much better, transitioning to two children has been challenging. For one thing, the brain fog is so much worse. Making even small decisions is sometimes so, so hard. I also still get overstimulated some days. There’s so much more noise now! 

The experience of being pulled in two different directions — multiple times a day — is also quite an adjustment. If I ever apply for a job again, you’d better believe “managing multiple stakeholders with often contradictory interests” will be going on the list of skills on my resume.  

Most of all, though, I’m reevaluating my beliefs about work/life integration. 

Integration Doesn’t Mean Multitasking 

When I became co-president of CWIB, my first daughter was just about to turn one. I’d been the managing editor for a few years and was comfortable using my phone to check on articles and onboarding new writers from the floor of the nursery while my daughter crawled around. Since then, though, as our business has grown and we’ve even launched a book, there are more emails to respond to, more comments to moderate in our Facebook group, and more projects to keep tabs on. Rapidly task-switching (which is, after all, what multitasking really is) from mothering to editing/leading a business has become too much.  

Integration means being one person, all of the time. It means being a mom even if I’m traveling without my girls or working while they’re asleep. And it means being an author and a business leader even when I’m not working. What it doesn’t have to mean is having constant notifications while I’m trying to be present with my family or trying to think about all of the people with demands on my time, all at the same time.  

I’m still an advocate for allowing parents to work from home. I’m still an advocate for freelancing, side hustles, and other flexible, part-time options that enable moms to earn money or pursue another passion while being able to spend most of their time with their child(ren). 

But I’ve recently implemented some strict boundaries — more for myself than for anyone I’ve ever worked with, because CWIB is blessed with a team full of women (moms and non-moms) who prioritize faith and family and expect others to do the same. I’ve realized that, partly due to ADHD and partly due to lack of self-control, the dopamine hit (positive or negative) of email, text, and social media notifications is something I need to work harder to avoid. 

Boundary No. 1: Focus Time 

Did you know that the iPhone allows you to set different kinds of “focus” times, with limits on certain apps? I’ve set my personal focus time for 9 AM to 7:30 PM (around the time — ish — when the girls are in bed). During this time, I don’t receive business-related text messages, emails, or Facebook messages. I can still access them on my MacBook, so on those days when both girls nap at the same time, I can check in and catch up. But otherwise, they are inaccessible on my phone. 

Boundary No. 2: Social Media Time Limits 

This one is a little more challenging, because it’s all too easy to click “ignore limit” when you’ve reached your time limit on an app. Still, setting time limits on my social media apps at least reminds me that I’m trying to minimize how much time I spend on them. 

Boundary No. 3: Periodically Delete Social Media Apps 

I also have started deleting my social media apps altogether for certain lengths of time, whether due to a family visit, a holiday, or just needing to take a break for a while. No one who follows me on any of my social media platforms is desperate to know what’s going on in my life. My “IRL” friends care, and we talk offline. 

Boundary No. 4: No Social Media Drama 

I have strong opinions about a lot of what I see online. I comment on very little of it. It’s partly to remind myself that I don’t need to have a public opinion on every current event, partly to prevent myself from arguing with social media “trolls,” and partly to keep myself humble (because, again, the people who care about my opinion are people I talk to offline). This is not to say that I don’t share my perspective when I feel called to it — but I try to do so prayerfully and prudently. 

My oldest daughter is four. I haven’t been a mom for very long. I still have a lot to learn, including when it comes to being present to my family, my friends, my colleagues and the people we serve, and — most of all — God. Hopefully, you can learn from my mistakes and the steps I’m taking to try to improve in the future!  

What boundaries do you set as you integrate work and family life?

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

Copyright 2025 Taryn DeLong
Images: Canva

Originally published on EverydayRoses.Blog.