When I Come to the End of Myself

Louisa Ikena reflects on reaching a point of desperation as a point of surrender and a gift in prayer.

Reaching the End of Myself

What do I do when I have come to the end of myself? I have used every bit of ingenuity and know-how and willpower I have, and I just have nothing left. Nothing seems to be going right. I have tried everything, and I am out of ideas.

These are the moments when I turn to God in desperation and cry for mercy. These are the moments when the pain of a situation feels too much to bear, and it feels like the pain will last forever. These are my moments of surrender.

I feel like in these moments of surrender I am met with steadfast love, understanding, compassion, and acceptance. And I feel like God, in His perfect timing, claps His Hands together and says, “OK, now we can begin.”

Now we can begin our process of transformation that does take time and is painful. Now we can begin to process what it has taken to get us to this point. Now we can begin to deepen our trust in God and know that everything is going to be all right. As God clasps His Hands together, I also hear Him saying, “OK, now that I have your full attention, it is time to grow.”

The process prompts many questions: Why does it take the painful and the uncomfortable to get and keep my full attention? And why do I have to come all the way to the end of myself to reach a point of surrender? Why can’t I learn to surrender long before a point of desperation? And better yet, why can’t I learn to turn to God first instead of as a last resort?

Some of these questions simply do not have satisfactory answers. We are human, and we are affected by concupiscence, our tendency toward sin that we inherited in the Fall of Adam and Eve.

Healing Prayers

Psalm 51 is a powerful prayer:

You will let me hear gladness and joy;
The bones you have crushed will rejoice.
Turn away your face from my sins;
Blot out all my iniquities.
A clean heart create for me, God;
Renew within me a steadfast spirit. Psalm 51: 10-12

Lord, how I long for more of You in my life. As Saint Augustine said, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.” My heart is ever so restless, seeking comfort and pleasure and other things of this world. The only place I can find true rest and peace is in You, Lord. Please help me know the truth of that more and more. Please help remind me of this truth when I forget. Only You can satisfy the longs of my heart. Please help me to not have to find myself in desperate need before I surrender to You. When I come to the end of myself, thank you for the gift of finding You.

Your Turn!

What is your favorite prayer in times of desperation?

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Copyright 2026 Louisa Ann Irene Ikena
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