Yes, Take Your Children to Mass!

To encourage other struggling parents, Caroline Godin shares her experience of taking children to Mass.

Parenthood is hard in this world. We strive to teach them proper values, unsure what they’ll learn from school or friends. We do our best, married or single, with help or without. We try to form healthy relationships with our children and an environment for them to grow and learn. Ultimately, we want our children to know they are loved not just by us but by our loving Father. His love is enduring and will be with us forever (Matthew 28:20).

So why do we doubt ourselves? We second guess and wonder if we’re doing the right thing. We know we need to raise them up to know the right path and hope they’ll never stray (Proverbs 22:6), but about half of Americans raised Catholic leave the Church at some point and only about 11% come back. The visual in the pews these days seem to confirm the drop in numbers for many parishes across the nation.

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Sadly, what can make it harder is other Christians. Yes, those who should be supporting are sometimes making it harder. It’s not everyone and it’s not limited to Catholics or any particular denomination. Hopefully, it’s not where you are, but we hear about it. I recently heard some suggest not taking small children to Mass unless they can behave or taking them out if they make any noise. Is this Christian? Does this allow a mother to raise her children in the Church?

When my children were small, my husband and I took them every Sunday. We fed them first, but brought prepped bottles just in case. We chose a Mass time when they tended to be in the best moods. We brought quiet toys and books in a small bag. We encouraged them to sit, stand, and kneel with us. During the rambunctious years for my older two, we spent some time in the crying room, but not always. With my youngest, I have two older children to help. My parents also help when they’re with us.

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Sound perfect? Well … it wasn’t. My husband works overnights and sometimes doesn’t come. I was solo plenty of times. We’ve had moments and mishaps over the years. Cheerios have exploded, heads have hit pews leading to screams, I fell against my son (how embarrassing!), and my middle kiddo has shouted surprising things during the consecration! Sometimes, I stepped out to calm them down, but we always came back. Stepping out was always a choice; I was never asked to leave. My heart goes out to those who have been asked or told to leave. That should not happen!

During the shut-down, I made my teens to watch Mass. I made them go through all the motions. My little guy was happy to play with all his toys of course, but we still ‘attended’ as much as possible. I didn’t want to lose the momentum. (Now, if they stay home sick, they watch Mass without argument.) Opening up again was great, but that meant choosing new battles. My teens weren’t into dressing nice, so we made some compromises (decent clothes, no holes). Still, we went.

I still struggle with dragging them to Mass some days, but we’re able to discuss the homily on the ride home. I still need to hand the Missalette to my older son, but he reads it once he has it. I still have a little one, but he’s well enough behaved because he’s always gone to Mass. It’s his culture because it’s always been ours.

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Parenthood is hard and raising your children in the faith is even harder in this world. Let’s lift one another up in prayer. #catholicmom

To the mamas (and dads) who are struggling, I see you.

Maybe you just started bringing your children. It’s okay, do your best. Tell them why you love them enough to want to share this amazing gift of faith with them.
Maybe you just converted (or reverted) to Catholicism yourself. Welcome (back)! Share with your kids why and let them join you on this journey.
Maybe you have no one to help you and you feel you’re not present at Mass. Keep exposing those kiddos to Christ and pray for peace for yourself. Pray to St. Monica.
Maybe you’re getting those ‘looks’ and feeling judged or being spoken to. I’m so sorry you’re receiving this message! It’s not Christlike and I urge you to keep coming to Him. Look for those who will support you (all of us at Catholic Mom do!) Reach out online or in your parish. People will support you.

Whatever your struggle, you’re not alone. Parenthood is hard and raising your children in the faith is even harder in this world. Let’s lift one another up in prayer. Let’s support one another with love and encouragement, not judgment. You’re doing amazing! Keep on loving your kids! You got this, mama!

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