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We all have that one thing. The miracle we desire so badly that we are almost afraid to ask for it. The one thing that would fundamentally change our situation, or maybe even our lives. Perhaps we long for physical healing, financial stability or the reconciliation of a fractured relationship.
For me, it was the latter. My relationship with my father has been mercurial at best, and painfully broken at worst. For the past ten years, he had not spoken to me, except to occasionally remind me that he did desire a relationship with me. I had made peace with it and of course, I had forgiven him a long time ago. However, I still prayed daily for him and for reconciliation, although I didn’t think it was truly possible this side of heaven.
There is not room to share the details here (and I want to protect my father’s privacy), but God heard the prayer I held deep in the recesses of my heart, and my father reached out to me. I was terrified!
Being open to this miracle meant everything would change. I couldn’t identify myself in the same way. I had to make a choice about responding to my dad. What should I do? I wondered; Are these the questions the blind man had when, through Christ’s mercy, he regained his sight?
I pondered that man having to go back to his family and share his good news. Was he well received? Did they truly believe he was healed or were they, like me, waiting for the other shoe to metaphorically drop? Did he have to get a job now? He could no longer rely on the charity of others. Now that his prayer was answered, how would he go forward?
When Peter was granted the miracle of walking on water, he faltered only when he stopped trusting. Is this what my miracle meant, that I was being called onto the deep water?
I took my situation to prayer in Adoration, Mass and my daily Rosary prayers. I sought the counsel of two priests (one who had journeyed with me through this issue and one with a new perspective). After all this, I felt challenged to live my faith with courage: to respond to my father. I understand that I have opened myself up to further pain, but faith, hope and charity require risk and yes, even pain.
I have begun (cautiously) a conversation with my father. I still pray for him daily and now I pray that God will guide me into these uncharted waters of a new relationship. I’m ready to trust, not necessarily in my earthly father, but my heavenly one. The miracle has been granted and now the work begins.
Copyright 2019 Mary Lou Rosien
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