Copyright 2020 Anni Harry. All rights reserved.[/caption]
Several years back, before children, my husband and I went on a Strong-Bonds Marriage Retreat put on by the unit military chaplains after a deployment. The main course used to assist couples in readjusting to a “new normal” after the service member had been to war was the 5 Love Languages promoted by Gary Chapman and his team.
The 5 Love Languages, as presented by Gary Chapman are: Physical Touch, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Receiving Gifts. Each love language denotes how the recipient feels and receives love. Some people who are physical touch recipients don’t respond when their loved one does the laundry or another chore for them; however, someone whose love language is acts of service will swoon when a chore is done by their loved one. It is important to understand both your partner’s love language and your own, so that each person can effectively communicate love to each other in the relationship.
Since that particular retreat that my husband and I journeyed on, Gary Chapman has expanded his line of books to include one geared toward military couples who often face lengthy separations, others which address children’s love languages so that parents can effectively ensure their children feel loved, and even a guide for the workplace for leadership teams. And, through experience, I have found knowing my own friends’ love languages help me to better make my friends feel appreciated in the seemingly little ways.
In February, we turn a page from cold winter months to love being in the air. G.K. Chesterton is credited with saying, “When it comes to life, the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.” And as we slide toward Valentine’s Day, those words should ring in our ears as we plan to remind our loved ones how, and why, we appreciate them.
A couple of years ago, I was scrolling through my news feed toward the end of February when an idea came up to shower love and affection on children. This simple idea was to leave a paper heart with something you love about your child on their door every morning leading up to Valentine’s Day. At the time, my oldest was only three; so, I modified the concept to try out Words of Affirmation on my husband.
This simple, low-cost activity has become an annual staple in our house since that year.
Materials Needed:
Scissors Paper – construction or printer paper works best Sharpies, crayons, or colored pencils Scotch tape Bedroom doorStep 1:
Gather the basic supplies (scissors, paper, writing utensils)
Copyright 2020 Anni Harry. All rights reserved.[/caption]
Step 2:
Cut out 14 hearts – one for each day from the first of February to the fourteenth of February. You can sketch out a heart on the paper, or simply do the fold and cut method. They can all be the same size, or my favorite, differing sizes.
Copyright 2020 Anni Harry. All rights reserved.[/caption]
Step 3:
For younger children and new writers, feel free to prep the hearts by writing “I love” on them.
Copyright 2020 Anni Harry. All rights reserved.[/caption]
Let the new writers use their skills by allowing them to write on their own, using their own version of spelling (which means being quiet at times when they are mis-spelling words).
Copyright 2020 Anni Harry. All rights reserved.[/caption]
Prep all 14 hearts or fill a new one out each day. Set the prepared hearts aside.
Copyright 2020 Anni Harry. All rights reserved.[/caption]
Step 4:
Last thing at night, when everyone is in bed, or first thing in the morning, before your child or spouse get out of bed, grab a heart and apply scotch tape.
Copyright 2020 Anni Harry. All rights reserved.[/caption]
Step 5:
Tape the heart to the door, one on each day.
Copyright 2020 Anni Harry. All rights reserved.[/caption]
Step 6:
Repeat steps four and five daily until Valentine’s Day. Relish the joy on the faces of your children and spouse as you recognize their strengths for them
Copyright 2020 Anni Harry. All rights reserved.[/caption]
For children too young to write, help them by writing exactly what they tell you. While I try to write about words of kindness and affirmation about the person, or what I enjoy doing together, it’s okay if your younger child identifies more “materialistic” things about their loved one. For example, a couple years ago, my son was insistent on my writing, “I love your black car,” when he was working on Words of Affirmation for his dad. So, that became one of my husband’s hearts from our son. This year, he identified loving to build Legos with his dad.
This is an engaging activity to get all hands involved in creating. The hearts can be intricately decorated, or they can be simple cut-outs. At the end of the day, it’s the words on the hearts that matter.
St. Gianna is credited with saying, "Love your children. In them you can see Baby Jesus. Pray for them a lot and every day put them under Holy Mary’s protection.” St. John Bosco is credited with saying, “It’s not enough to love the children, it is necessary that they are aware that they are loved.” The two aforementioned quotes are also apt when we look at our spouse, for as G.K. Chesterton is credited with saying, “The most extraordinary thing in the world is an ordinary man and an ordinary woman and their ordinary children.”
So, this year, I encourage you, dear reader, to identify your spouse and your children’s love languages. And, plan ahead to find simple, yet effective, ways to make their day. Stretch Valentine’s Day out from just the fourteenth of February to the entire month of February.
See your spouse as God sees your spouse.
See your children as God sees your children.
Finally, let them know what you see in them, that perhaps they don’t even see in themselves.
Build a richer domestic church during the month of February.
What cost-effective ways do you enjoy sharing your love with your own family members? I’d love to hear your ideas below!
Copyright 2020 Anni Harry
About the Author
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