Am I Grumpy? Should I Be?

Elizabeth reflects on how her anger at a situation at work affects her daily life and well-being. 

Ever since my son came into the world, he has had a very grumpy temperament. I know it’s not an official description, but I think it fits. Even to this day as a 19-year-old young man he still has these moments. Of course, they are not about staying up or cleaning up they are about locking himself out of the house. Forgetting the hat he needs for work and the list goes on. 

Of course, now that he’s older he shows his frustration and the way he deals with it in very different ways. Sometimes I am impressed and sometimes it’s typical adolescent behavior. 

Last month was very stressful for me at work. I am a schoolteacher of 4-year-olds. But this year two out of the 18 children in my classroom have been diagnosed with disabilities.  

It wouldn’t be so challenging if I was a special-education teacher, but my specialization is in general early childhood education. I was selected the “blended teacher” on my campus for my grade level. The frustrating part of this situation is that I wasn’t asked or told until after the school year began. 

Apparently, there is a shortage of special-education teachers, so this has been the solution for the district to stay in compliance currently. 

So, what does all of this have to do with my son’s temperament? Well, I feel that, like him as a teenager, I am not handling my feelings well. So many changes are happening within the day that affect how I teach and how much more I must do. 

Noticing my Anger Response

I have noticed that I am impatient more than usual everywhere. Any little change in schedules, procedures, or routines at work sends me over the edge. Now, I am not throwing a tantrum in public but sometimes it feels like I am internally. The aftermath is me being gloomy and/or cranky and basically overwhelmed. 

I have stayed close to the Lord and Mother Mary. I am sure they both have headaches because of how often they listen to my complaints, fears, and sadness. 

I suppose it would be more manageable if other situations in my life weren’t happening at the same time. 

Even though my brain knows that I should be regulating and managing my stress better, my heart feels heavy and hurts. 

Turning to God in my Anger

I want to be like Saint John and rest on Jesus’ shoulder and stay there. Adoration has become the closest thing to that moment for me. 

My hope is that I can get myself out of this gloominess with God’s help. I know that I should feel joyful and grateful, which I am every day. However, at this moment it is hard to carry the cross our Lord has made for me. 

I have given myself a deadline. If I continue to feel like this, it could be my anxiety and depression, which means I need to see my doctor. 

Sharing this helps me feel like I am helping someone who is reading this right now. It may be that you don’t feel you can say how you are feeling or feel guilty for feeling this way. You may feel like you can't reach out for support.  

Trust me: Tell the Lord — and someone you trust. You are not alone in the struggle of gloominess and everything that comes with it.  

Lord and Mother Mary, please help me surrender all of my feelings to you for some peace in my life. 

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Copyright 2025 Elizabeth Estrada
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