Growing our Family Helped Us Heal

Betty Vertin shares the story of learning to grow in faith by welcoming a child into her family despite scary circumstances.

My daughter Mary turns 9 in September; this has me revisiting her story, one I first told as we celebrated her second birthday.

My heart was checked two years after three of my sons had all been diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. As a carrier of the disease, I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy. After four diagnoses, the boys’ and my own, I was distraught.  

I was depressed and reaching to make things right again.

I homeschooled the boys that year. I wanted the hands on the clock to stop turning. I wanted to be stuck there forever, where all my children were healthy and alive.

That was also the year Max was accepted into a clinical trial that showed promise at slowing down the progression of the disease.

Homeschooling and the clinical trial were distractions. I could tell myself I was tired, sad, and lost because those things were hard and exhausting. Now, I know I was trying desperately to do anything except feel; to feel meant to hurt.

Our parish priest suggested a healing Mass. My husband, Jason, and I were completely willing. Our priest was able to get a relic from Father Michael McGivney. We sent a novena to our friends, family, and social media accounts. We prayed every day until the beautiful Mass we prayed for healing for the boys and me.

A few months later, I realized I was pregnant. I was scared to death. I was afraid as ever that I was pregnant with another son with Duchenne. For 17 weeks, we didn’t tell anyone.

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After the three boys were diagnosed, we decided we could not have any more children. We didn't decide if we wanted more children or not. We just decided we could not. We could not risk another son with Duchenne. DMD predominantly affects boys.

We chose to stay with Natural Family Planning. Duchenne already promised to steal so much from us. We decided we could not let it steal our faith. We continued to follow the teachings of the Catholic Church.

We were scheduled for an ultrasound to determine whether the baby was a boy or a girl. Our appointment was scheduled for 1:00. I went to noon Mass to prepare for another son with Duchenne. How do you prepare yourself for that?

After Mass, I lingered. I sat in the pew for a while, avoiding any rush to get to the ultrasound.

I was sitting there and felt a peace come over me. I heard an inaudible voice say, "It will be okay. Call her Mary."

Call her Mary. Her? Mary is a girl's name. The baby will be a girl? I couldn't understand.

I went to my appointment. The ultrasound technician said, girl. We questioned her. She was adamant that it was a girl.  

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Our sons' disease already promised to steal so much from us. We decided we could not let it steal our faith. #CatholicMom

With tears in my eyes, I looked at my husband (who had no previous knowledge of my experience at Mass) and said, "Her name is Mary." I half expected him to look at me like I was crazy, but he looked at me with a smile and said, "Okay!"

Mary Pearl Vertin was born on September 25 at 4:47 AM.  She weighed 6 lbs, 5 oz, and was 21 inches long.  She was our miracle. When I first laid eyes on her, my breath was taken away. She had the darkest brown eyes I had ever seen and looked directly at me. She was not flailing or screaming. She kept eye contact with me.  It was powerful.

Mary has brought so much light into our lives. She brings laughter and love. She brought life back to me. We were so muddled in the diagnosis. We focused on the 20-year future where we would lose our boys.  I was distraught. When Mary came, there was light again.

All children are heaven-sent, and Mary ... well, remember that healing Mass I talked about? I believe Mary was the answer. We prayed for healing. I had a cure for Duchenne in mind. God gave me Mary.  Mary was the glue for my broken heart. She helped me piece it together again.

She brought his wife back to my husband. She was a sister to my sister-less daughter; she was small and innocent and needed help that even a weak boy with Duchenne could give.

I will never stop being thankful for this beautiful child's joy and healing power.

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