Healing in Christ

On a recent retreat, Tami Urcia experienced the impact of allowing God's love to seep into her soul and heal wounds from the past.

I recently had the privilege of attending a healing retreat, hosted remotely by Sister Miriam James Heidland and Dr. Bob Schuchts. The whole reason I went was because I wanted my husband to go, and I knew he most likely wouldn’t go without me. But as God would have it, it ended up being very fruitful for my soul as well.   

It can be painful to dig up past wounds. It can seem humiliating to expose them to God, even though he already knows exactly what they are. One of the images they had us reflect on during a Visio Divina exercise (prayerful reflection using a piece of sacred art) was the image of Jesus’ encounter with doubting Thomas. The image shows Jesus pulling back His cloak to expose the wound on His side so that Thomas can probe it. We are not talking about taking a quick peek: we are talking about literally sticking his fingers into a 4-inch gash.  

Exposing Our Wounds  

What the speakers pointed out, and what stood out to me as well, was the fact that Jesus intentionally exposed His wound. Our human reaction to our wounds, whether they be physical or emotional, is to cover them up, to hide them. Yet Jesus has no pretexts or pretenses, masks, or coverups. He simply is who He is. We can know Him profoundly because He reveals Himself to us exactly as He is, in His purest essence.    

One thing I have always struggled with, and perhaps you can relate, is seeking affirmation of my value by “doing.” When I was a child, I got a pat on the back for getting good grades, being a star athlete and helping my dad with home improvement projects. It seemed like that was the only way I could get positive attention. Without realizing it, as I grew up, this desire to do good things to be considered a good person grew as well. I became duty-driven, a rule follower and somewhat of a Goody Two-shoes.   

What God has laid on my heart, and what He wants to assure you of as well, my dear sisters, is that your value has nothing to do with what you do. Even if you were bedridden for the rest of your days and no longer able to perform a single task, your inherent worth would not change one iota. Why? Because our primary identity is a daughter of God, and those three words render us infinite value. What a liberating thought! What an incredible grace! 

Listening to Lies  

Another point the speakers made was that our identity is not defined by the lies other people have ingrained in us. While I was growing up, I was repeatedly teased about my weight. Random strangers would yell out “Look at that fat girl!” as I was passing by, and the first words out of my own grandmothers’ mouths when I visited usually pertained to my physical appearance. In my mind, I was the fat girl. This was ingrained in me as an integral part of who I was, and it was a lie.   

Ladies, our worth could never be defined by a number on a scale or the size of our clothing. Yes, we are called to take care of our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit, but what other people say about us or believe about us is most often not the same as what Jesus has to say to us. He calls us beloved. To Him we are captivating. The description He has of us is beautiful because He created us, and He only creates things that are “wonderfully made” (see Psalm 139).  

Listening to Love  

If you have not been in a while, I would invite you to consider going on retreat to get away and spend that one-on-one time with your Maker. Let Him speak to your heart. In his book Authentic Love, J. Brennan Mullaney states:

Love heals. Healing is an integral part of human love. Where love is, healing is constantly occurring.

All of us need healing. Even if you have not experienced deep-seated trauma, you have interacted with other wounded people who may have had a negative impact on you. Even if you feel completely intact, Jesus desires to bring you to a new level of wholeness. We can visit counselors, doctors, therapists, and spiritual directors who may all help us to some extent, but in the end, it is love that heals. And Christ is Love itself.   

Allow that love to seep deeply into your soul. Watch your masks and recurring behaviors that hide your wounds be stripped away. For God deeply desires to heal you. He deeply desires to affirm you in the truth of your true identity as a daughter of God. Don’t listen to the lies any longer. Listen instead to the voice of Love.  

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Copyright 2024 Tami Urcia
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