The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Deanna Baratalini considers a few lies we tell ourselves that do not serve our spiritual lives well at all. 

I do not think we are all a bunch of liars. I think we want to believe certain things are true. Or that could be true given a very specific set of circumstances. Maybe if we believe them strongly enough and try to make them happen, they will be true. Because then life would be better, easier, run more smoothly, and be less stressful. And what are these lies I speak of?

Here is an incomplete list: I’ll do it later; I’ll remember; life will get back to normal after (whatever is causing difficulties); things will calm down once x happens; it’s not that bad; I’m fine; no problem, I can make that work; it’s easier if I take care of it. The list is incomplete because, well, I am only one person, and if I ask more people, I could get more lies, but I do not have the time to do that. Besides, you get the idea of what I am saying here.

I am not going to address all of these, only three, and specifically how they relate to our daily spiritual life. I’ll do it later, life will get back to normal, and things will calm down are three lies I have told myself more times than I can count. I also want to address them since I believed them for so long and no one told me differently when I was younger.

These lies have not served me well. It is good to be hopeful and persevere in the face of troubles and difficulties. It is not helpful to live in a state of waiting for life to smooth out like an iron removes wrinkles from clothes. Those lies have left me wondering what I am doing wrong rather than helping me learn what I needed to move into the next phase of life.

What Does Our Spiritual Life Need?

Honesty. A bit of a plan. Time. Some structure.

We do not want to leave it up to later, when things calm down. That is what leads us to despair and confusion and the feelings that God is not with us. If you recall the feeding of the 5,000 or 4,000, depending on which Gospel, Jesus takes a ridiculously small amount of bread and fish and feeds a huge multitude of people. And there are leftovers. He does this with our prayer time as well.

We need prayer to live life as Christians, as Catholic moms, as workers in the vineyard — wherever that is and whatever it is you do there, prayer is what leads us to be our best.

I have a usual plan of morning prayer and quiet. Not going to lie; it is a long period of time. I spend much of that time simply sitting after I have read Scripture. I can do that at this time in my life. When I did not have that kind of morning time, I did other things. I prayed the Rosary on the way to work with a CD (yes, a CD). I did Bible study in the evening, after dinner, or when the kids went to bed. Spiritual reading was in little bits of time between activities or when the whole family went to basketball practice. I liked basketball season.

Those little bits of prayer and reading sustained me. Even now, when my life is going at full tilt, I need to pray. I need, in a way even more than prayer, quiet time with God. Without it, I become difficult, short-tempered, and lack patience. It is not a good look. I lie to myself that as soon as I have time and things are back to normal, I will be back to my usual prayer routine.

But What Is Normal?

Many years ago, I heard a Christian comedienne say, “Normal is just a setting on your dryer!” I don’t know if she meant hair or clothes dryer, and I also have a normal setting on my washer, but I tell you, there is no normal setting in life.

Every event, positive or negative, influences your life, and so it is ever-changing. When something occurs, say, a new baby in the family, a promotion at work, even someone giving you a plant, things shift. You make room mentally, emotionally, and physically for the new situation. You never go back to the way things were before, and that is fine.

The negative events are a bit more difficult. And these are often when we tell ourselves the biggest lies, as if believing them will make this awful situation in front of us go away. This is the time to pray. To pour it all out to God, as awful as it may sound, no matter how angry you are, and then sit with Him in the quiet.

There is no normal way or time or place or posture to talk with God. It is where you find yourself: the shower, the car line, the bus, the coffee shop, the doctor’s office.

When we offer the little bits and pieces we have, the toast crumbs and cold coffee dregs, offered in humility and love, Jesus takes them and gives us patience, strength, comfort, wisdom, peace, and the ability to do the next step.

How the Lies Harm Us

This is why the lies harm us. They stop us from going to the Father, to Jesus, and asking for help. If each time we find ourselves saying the lie that is meant to make us feel better, stop and take that thought captive, send it to the Cross, and turn to Jesus. Do not wait.

I am trying to form a new habit when the bits of life seem like darts of fire. I bless myself. So simple. “In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.” Sometimes I add, “God, please help me.” I say all this quietly to myself. It is a way to stop and allow God to speak to me before I say or do the wrong thing.

You can choose any short prayer, an aspiration, “Jesus, I trust in You,” “Come, Holy Spirit,” or a Scripture verse that will help you. No matter how small you think your prayer offering is, God will multiply it.

Share your thoughts with the Catholic Mom community! You'll find the comment box below the author's bio and list of recommended articles.

Copyright 2026 Deanna Bartalini
Images: Canva