Was Mother's Day Disappointing? Let's Debrief.

Monica Portogallo offers encouragement for women who did not have the Mother’s Day they'd hoped for.

I sincerely hope everyone who is reading this had a truly wonderful Mother’s Day, in which you felt honored, appreciated, and loved. Knowing how Jesus treated Mary, I think we can deduce that it is what God’s will is for mothers every day.

Since we live in a fallen world, though, Mother’s Day may not have lived up to the ideal.

Maybe weather or illness forced you to cancel your plans.

Maybe there were no fun plans because you would have had to make them yourself.

Maybe one day without fighting was too much to ask of your kids.

Maybe everyone in your family clearly forgot about Mother’s Day until the last minute.

Maybe it was your first Mother’s Day, and your misguided husband, not considering that babies are oblivious to holidays, didn’t think he had to do anything for you because you aren’t his mother.

Maybe you have a selfish person in your life who cannot handle the idea that there are days honoring someone else, and thus takes any opportunity to make such days unpleasant.

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For those of you who did not have a truly wonderful Mother’s Day, first of all, let me offer you my sympathy and a virtual hug. You are allowed to feel your feelings and be disappointed when things do not work out as you had hoped. Bring your hurts to God and ask His help to forgive those you need to forgive.

A few practical suggestions for future Mother’s Days:

Be explicit about what you want, especially if it’s important to you that you do or don’t do something.
Make your own arrangements if needed. I used to think planning things for myself made them lose meaning, but in practice, it didn’t. I just got to enjoy the day more than I would have otherwise.
Be realistic. If your husband is terrible at planning or your children are feuding, they probably not going to magically change for Mother’s Day. Set your expectations appropriately.
If all else fails, there’s always something I like to call “Mother’s Day, Observed.” Simply do things you wanted to do on Mother’s Day on a different day. It could be a solo activity, like a spa visit, or a better-planned family activity.

In the end, I always try to remember that I didn’t become a mother to be recognized for my efforts and sacrifices as a mother.

Even if those in my family fail to fully appreciate it, I know that my Father in heaven sees all that I do.

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